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Self Awareness

How to choose happiness, take back your power!

Many a time, we make people more important than ourselves. Do you agree? Have you experienced a scenario whereby someone said/believed bad things about you yet you very well know you are a good person, and then felt the need to show them that indeed you are a good person? Perhaps, you are a rational thinker but since an argument with your spouse has presented itself, you lost your cool just to prove a point? Or an ex is coming over to get their stuff and you behave out of character just to get back at them? It could even be a parent/sibling who does not respect your boundaries and then you find yourself cursing them out. It happens. In a nutshell, you prioritize others and you feel like that because it is about time for you to take back your power!

Take back your power, you deserve to be happy
Photo by nappy from Pexels, Cry enough then take back your power!

While it is normal to have reactions to situations, especially those that irk us, it is important to practice self-control. Because, when we act out of character, we are stooping to the accusers’ level and handing them our power. Most often than not, when you examine the times you lost your cool you will find that you did not either know who you are or believed in yourself. For example, if someone insults you and tells you, “You are very foolish”. If perhaps a person (Maybe a parent) in your past accused you of being foolish or you have low self-esteem or even exaggerated self-esteem, chances are you will go off on the person. However, when you know who you are, that you are not foolish, chances are, you will be calm and collected. They will feel like the foolish ones and some will later ask for your forgiveness.

“Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.”

Mark Twain

Story Time…

I am reminded of something I read where the lady spoke of her finding out the guy who promised to love on her and never leave her, moved on and slept with a couple of ladies within two weeks after the break-up. So this lady on doing some cleaning and decluttering found a few items of the guy. She called him to ask and requested that he should pick them. She went ahead to plan all these things that would make her ex jealous. Short dress and all (Think your worst on this) haha! But as the day went by she reconsidered and instead decided to be herself; a Happy, hospitable, and well-mannered person.

When the guy came, she ushered him into the house, offered him a meal or drink, (Of course the guy said he is fine), she handed him his stuff and he left. After that, she deleted the number and that was that. After a week or so, the guy started texting her, she ignored all forms of weak contact to this day. Clearly, the no contact rule works.

“When you learn how much you’re worth, you’ll stop giving people discounts.”

What was the lesson of the story; own your power and if you have given your power to someone who doesn’t appreciate, respect, love on you, take back your power.

How do I take back my power?

  • You need to acknowledge your mistake and work on never repeating it again. For example, the lady had to sit down and analyze what she contributed leading to the breakup and work on it. Perhaps she had to look at the mirror and ask the hard questions like, Why she allowed for poor treatment, low self-worth maybe? She literally started working on herself with the help of a therapist.
  • Secondly, remind yourself who you are and do good. The lady would have easily gone ahead with the plan but she managed to stop herself in her tracks and sobered up. She became the bigger person by doing good even when it hurts. She took back her power.
  • Lastly: Move on. Sometimes handing over our power to someone means holding a grudge. Let them be free. Remind yourself, by them saying/ thinking or doing those things, it says more about them and less about you. Even the bible says if your arm causes you to sin, cut it off. If it is a repetitive habit, delink yourself from those people. If it is your ex who was unappreciative always perceiving you as the villain even when you know you did everything humanly possible to love on them, delete and forget them.

Life has a funny way, by the grace of God, to vindicate us. Let God be your vindicator and prove you right in front of your enemies. Trust me, it happens.

Take back your power.

One year sober, how I managed to quit alcohol

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